Saturday 22 December 2012

Hot for the Holidays with Lily Harlem

Welcome to the Clandestine Classics Hot for the Holidays celebration. Total-E-bound, with great wisdom and savvy, has chosen to "open the bedroom door" on several of the established classics with which we are all familiar. The romance has had a good sprinkle of spice added to it and we hope you enjoy the hot new flavor.

I’ve certainly had fun jazzing up my classic so be sure to leave a comment on this blog post for a chance to win Clandestine Classic, Tarzan of the Apes, on the day of its release – 4th of February 2013 AND a £50 gift voucher to spend at Total-E-Bound!!

Yes, that’s right, Tarzan of the Apes! Wow, was I excited to get my hands on his hot, nubile body! For years I’ve lusted after him, dreamed of swinging through the trees in his arms, and fantasised about that sexy little loincloth!

Not only that, I’ve always wondered exactly what naughtiness he got up to with Jane in the jungle. Its an endless playground for an erotic authoress and you can imagine my excitement when I was given free reign to fill in the gaps, add in the spice and crank up the temperature.

So now, get your favorite holiday drink, light the fire, put up your feet and I’ll dish the dirt on all the juicy details.


A wild man with primitive desires, will anyone be able to tame him?

A handsome English aristocrat raised in the jungle by apes, self-sufficient, thriving on danger and with a head full of unanswered questions. Where is he from? Why is he different? What will satisfy the hunger that eats away at the very core of his being and finally feed his appetite for something other than food and shelter?

A delicate American woman, expected to be the best she can be and marry well, but with a craving for adventure and exploration as well as a hope in her heart to find true love with a man who can sweep her off her feet.

When the two very different souls collide, in deepest, darkest Africa, only one thing can happen, and it’s raw and feral. Lust a common language, satisfaction the ultimate goal. But will the gentleman outshine the savage-man? Is virtue to be honoured? And when faced with a civilized decision, can Tarzan do the right thing?

Wow, its hot stuff and the original was just perfect for sexing up! First published in book form in 1914 Edgar Rice Burroughs left some wonderful gaps for me to play with. For example Tarzan grows from boy to man with no mention of sexual urges, but of course in real life this would have been an issue. His body would have gone through many changes and he’d come to want for something he had no name for. Luckily, though, ERB did leave an opportunity for me to slip information to Tarzan in his late teens so he could explore the new feelings and urges he experiences. I did need him to have some idea of what he was doing when it came to the steamy scenes!

ERB also describes Tarzan and Jane stealing their first kiss. He calls Tarzan ‘a hot-blooded man’ which he most certainly is, and I’m sure female readers of the book, way back then, were quite aquiver when they reached this particular page. And need you ask? Yep, I’ve added to it! And then, well, then, Tarzan whisks Jane away into the jungle for an entire night!!

What a treat for a naughty girl like me! I really enjoyed myself here and all those pent-up emotions in my characters were finally released.  Naturally it gets raunchy and rude, Tarzan finally understands the desires that have rumbled within him for so long, and I think, to be honest, he was quite appreciative of the fun I allowed him to have with Jane!

And, Jane, well, she is one lucky lady even if a little prim to begin with. I really enjoyed writing the sections from her view point. She’s feisty and demure, a complex mixture of traits but one that ERB portrays so well. She’s worried about virtue, but is in touch with her sexual side enough to give into some of her needs. She’s also sweet and brave and bless her, pretty damn confused at times too. 

I’m not the first and surely not the last to enjoy dreaming about and expanding on Tarzan and Jane’s romance. Over the years the couple have captured the public’s imagination as much as the idea of an infant being raised by apes. In fact in 1918 a silent, black and white movie came out at cinemas called The Romance of Tarzan though sadly no known copies of this film remain. 

The most famous film made of the book was released in 1932. Johnny Weissmuller, an American Olympic medalist swimmer, played Tarzan in this and then went on to feature in a further eleven Tarzan motion pictures. I think I’ve seen about half of them, but some time ago – that loincloth!

Dozens of other actors have also played the role but Weissmuller is by far the best known. His character's distinctive cry is still often used in films. Mr Harlem, in his usual sense of silly humour, has made the Tarzan yell my ring tone and I’ve been getting some very funny looks when he calls me - which I think he's doing when he knows I'm out and about, just to be a devil! If you’ve forgotten what the yell sounds like, click below.

In 1981 Bo Derek played Jane opposite Miles O’Keeffe in Tarzan, the Ape Man. Bo is beautiful, no matter what role she’s in. I haven’t seen this version, I’m going to add it to my ‘to-do’ list over the holidays. (I like to-do lists like that!)

So, going back to the bit I mentioned about Tarzan stealing Jane away into the jungle. Below is an excerpt taken from the Clandestine Classic, Tarzan of the Apes, and picks up just at the point they are settling down for the night in a small clearing in the jungle. Tarzan has made a crude shelter for Jane out of sticks and leaves and intends to keep watch over her the whole night through. It doesn’t quite go to plan… enjoy…


So Tarzan of the Apes did the only thing he knew to assure Jane of her safety. He removed his hunting knife from its sheath and handed it to her hilt first, again motioning her into the bower.
The girl understood, and taking the long knife she entered and lay down upon the soft grasses while Tarzan of the Apes stretched himself upon the ground across the entrance.
Here she lay, gazing upward at the crude roof of the shelter, and mulled over the extraordinary day that had unfolded, and the wild man who had stolen the first kiss from her lips. Although Jane was an innocent woman she was not naive in the ways of married couples. What went on behind closed doors and beneath the covers was something she was completely intrigued by and she’d sought to quell her curiosity in the only way she could. For Jane, like Tarzan, adored reading, and fashionable books about love and romance that hinted and suggested at the many delights to be had between a woman and a man were her most favourite material—she’d been thrilled to find two such books within the primitive cabin.
She sat and began to unlace her shoes, her hair just skimming the greenery above her. As her small and nimble fingers unweaved the soft leather laces her gaze settled on Tarzan’s broad, golden back as he lay, facing away from her, staring into the line of trees. The gutter of his spine was deep set and flanked with columns of strong muscle. He had a few scars and imperfections around his shoulders, marks of his wild lifestyle, and at the very base of his back, just before the doeskin-like loin cloth he wore, were two dents, almost dimples.
Jane couldn’t help but linger over the task of removing her shoes, the sight before her was simply too engrossing. She had never seen a man wearing so little clothing. The scrap he wore around his modesty barely covered his buttocks, indeed she could make out the very groove of his cheeks through the material. Her gaze roamed downward, committing to memory his powerful thighs coated in sandy hairs, calves sinewy with tendon and muscle and long feet that she was quite sure had never been within spitting distance of a shoe until now.
Footwear finally removed, she pushed them outside her small shelter.
Upon hearing her movement Tarzan turned, his body twisting, his face a mask of concern.
“I am quite all right,” Jane said, gesturing to her shoes. “But I really can’t sleep in those.”
Tarzan looked at the shoes, then sat and reached for one. He held it up, turned it over, examined the base and the inside, poking and prodding. Finally he lifted it to his nose and inhaled, long and deep.
“No,” said Jane, snatching it away. “Really, that is most untoward and really quite rude.”
Tarzan tugged his hand back, fingers clenched, his expression evidence enough that he knew not what he had done wrong.
Jane, seeing his confusion, took pity on him. For she understood that he was trying very hard to make her feel at ease, and she should surely return the favour. “I’m sorry,” she said, reaching for his hand that was in a fist at his sternum. “It is just that they are the only shoes I have, and I, well, I fear I may not have been able to keep them as fresh as I would like.” As she spoke she squeezed his big hand in hers. His skin was a little sticky from the copious amounts of juicy fruit they had shared, but even so a current of pleasure shot up her arm and settled in her belly. His hand, nearly twice the size of hers, was so masculine, and so strong. Unlike Clayton’s neatly trimmed nails, Tarzan’s were unevenly short, no doubt from wear and tear, and he had a twisted strip of vine around his wrist, a kind of makeshift bracelet, it was like nothing she had seen before.
He allowed her to keep holding his hand and tipped his head, his gaze boring into hers.
“It is just,” she went on, “that bathing facilities since we landed ashore have been considerably less than adequate. What I really long for is fresh water to sink my entire body into, to make me feel refreshed and rejuvenated and get some relief from this tropical heat.” Knowing he understood not a word, she tutted and released his hand. Frustration ploughed lines across her brow.
Tarzan raised his eyebrows and wiggled his fingers in a ‘carry-on’ gesture.
“Oh,” she said with a sigh. “What I really want to be able to do is wash.” As she spoke she cupped her palms and raised them to her face, mimicking splashing water on her cheeks.
Tarzan’s face lit up. He knew instantly what Jane was trying to say. She wanted to clean her body. Tarzan understood that desire very well, for he too liked to bathe frequently to keep his body free from irritations and unpleasant aromas. He had also read about it in his books. Civilised people set personal cleanliness in very high esteem.
Eager to show Jane his comprehension of her request, Tarzan jumped up and pointed in the direction of Cumba, the small rocky inlet just yards to the right of their camp. It was a safe and shallow bathing area that he had used since being a small boy. He was sure it would be perfect for a woman, for his woman, Jane.
He made a grunting sound which his ape family would have recognised as ‘come this way’ and stepped toward Cumba.
“Do you understand me?” Jane asked, amazement in her tone and her eyes wide.
Tarzan stepped further away, urging her to follow with frantic hand gestures.
“You want me to come with you?” Jane asked, crawling completely from the shelter and standing barefoot on the roughly textured grass.
Without realising he was giving the correct signal, Tarzan nodded.
“Okay,” Jane said, pressing down the creases in her dress and tilting her chin in a very confident little gesture given her precarious situation. “I will. Please lead the way.”
Tarzan grinned, flashing his neat teeth, and strode across the clearing. In order to keep up Jane quickly realised that she must move at a near jog. Though once they reached the denseness of the forest this was impossible, and Tarzan slowed in order to move branches and bend bows out of her path.
Jane was thankful when after a couple of minutes of thick undergrowth another clearing emerged. This time one with a large rock pool fed from a sparkling waterfall. She heard it first, the tinkling sound of water falling on stone, and when she finally laid eyes on it, she paused to marvel at the sheer beauty of the small lagoon.
High above the sky was turning pink. Dusk would soon be upon them. In the tallest branches, bright red and blue parrots were preparing to roost. The rocks around the waterfall were the colour of elephant skin, and the water, a rich navy, sparkled silver where the cascading water added to its depths.
“It is beautiful,” Jane said, her fingertips sweeping over the petals of a crimson orchid that bobbed its long neck to her right. “Simply exquisite.”

Mmm, I hope that set the scene for you. This waterfall section was great fun to write, there are lots of dynamics going on between Tarzan and Jane and the fact that they can’t communicate in English, but just hand signals and body language, really allows for some great tension between them. Lots of things are unsaid with words, but spoken loud and clear in other ways.

Do leave a comment, along with your email address, tell me what you think it is that's made Tarzan such an appealing hero for so many and for so long. I'll pick a winner at random to receive a copy of Tarzan of the Apes by myself and ERB on the 4th of February 2013 and you could also win that £50 Total-E-Bound voucher - now wouldn't that fill up your e-reader nicely!

Lily x 


  1. Lily, this is exciting news. I used to watch Tarzan when I was younger and yes no one compares to Johnny Weissmuller. My mom said he was hot. I didn't see it then but I did later when I was older. I love that the classics are changing with the times. I have the revamped version of Jane Erye. Thanks for updating Tarzan. Kathy

  2. Oh, this sounds fun! I remember reading about how racy the pre-Hayes Code Tarzan movies were, but I haven't seen them (nor read the books). This'll be the ideal introduction...


  3. The appeal might have something to do with Tarzan seemingly walking a fine line between being a man and a handsome beast especially when he was howling, beating his chest and swinging from tree to tree with his dark locks flowing behind him. The sight of him in his loin cloth didn't hurt either. He was pure, unrestrained masculinity at a time when everyone else in 'civilised' society seemed to be repressed. Well, that's my take on it anyway, lol.


  4. Thanks so much to everyone for commenting. Kathy, you've been picked randomly to receive a copy of Tarzan of the Apes when it is released in February.

    Lily x

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